My best friend no showed my wedding.
To be fair he was only my best friend during my teenage years, but he still missed my wedding. It went down like this…
I invited him to my wedding. He RSVPed he’d attend with a guest. He no showed.
A few years later I ran into him, and being a curious cat, I asked him why he flaked?
He explained that he received the invitation, RSVPed, but never got a final confirmation.
Yep, I failed to RSVP to the RSVP.
UH, DO YOU MIND IF I?
My old school friend sought approval even after an invite gave him permission to be part of my Diamonds-Are-Forever-Debt ceremony.
Forget my friend’s obliviousness to the wedding etiquette of the world. Remember that he wanted a double stamp of approval.
Just last year, my nine-year-old son whispered into my ear, “Daddy, is it okay if I just call you, ‘Dad?’”
I met his eyes, grinned, and said, “Of course, my boy. I love you.”
“Really?” he said.
I nodded, and his look of uncertainty washed away into a wide smile. Now I’m just plain old “Dad.”
That moment warmed my heart because my boy grew up a good bit that day. But it also compelled me to think about the bigger picture behind the words we shared.
We all want permission in some way.
Maybe it’s permission to be part of something special. Or permission to do something meaningful. Or permission to express ourselves in our unique way.
Except you don’t need permission to become the real writer you’re meant to be. – Tweet that
Ha! You certainly don’t need another person’s express written consent to share your words with the world.
For instance, I’ve submitted a few articles to a couple popular sites that shall go unnamed. They’ve turned me down every time. Maybe my writing just isn’t the right fit for their brand.
Then why did I seek their approval to publish at their sites? Well, I wanted to reach different audiences, and connect with new people.
However, each time those sites turned down my words, I still published the pieces here. Fortunately, I’ve received mostly positive feedback on those rejected posts. (Along with a few questions regarding my oddities.)
But every time I got turned down, I reminded myself that the people running those publications did not get to decide if my words were worthy or not.
Their declinations did not disallow me from writing a new piece or sharing my take on this world. Because I don’t need anyone’s permission to be a writer.
And neither do you.
SHH, DON’T TELL ANYONE…
You’re the only person between your words and the page.
You’re the only person between your pages and the public connecting with them.
An unfinished piece can never become a best-selling story or a viral blog post. That’s why I encourage you to stop looking or waiting for permission to write or share in your real way. (Because it ain’t coming.)
Just last month I began fast-drafting an updated outline of my WiP. Not surprisingly, I froze at the keyboard because I started worrying about the way I was transcribing my thoughts onto the page.
I thought, “Wow, people are going to think this is the worst novel ever written!”
I told myself, “It’s a lock, the world will soon know I’m a total fraud!”
Within minutes, I wrote the following words on a notepad at my standing desk, “Trust that you can fix the words later.”
You’re the only person with the authority to empower your real writing. So please look inside yourself, release the self-inflicted sanctions, and continue writing the story you’re meant to finish.